Every year at Christmas when I was growing up we had a "Thankful Candle" it was basically just a taper candle that my mom would take fingernail polish and put lines on for each day of December up until the 24th, we would light it each day and we would go around and say something we were thankful for while it burned down to the next line.
Brandon and I have continued the tradition with our family and now (thankfully) you can buy them. The rules are for the 24 day period you have to say one thing you're thankful for and you can have no repeats (harder than you think when you have a 3 year old that wants to say apple juice every SINGLE day).
It's always interesting to see what each person is going to say, but this year took a turn. On December 13th a family that I'm close to lost a child that was only 6 weeks older than Ethan, then on the 14th the Sandy Hook tragedy occurred in a classroom full of first graders, the same grade as Ellie. On the 14th you start to see a change in the things Brandon and I were thankful for. Of course we had named our children earlier in the month but as you go down the list you start to see things like: Life, Grace for each day, Friends that we hurt so deeply for and with, Health, Love, Our Marriage. All of these are things that we're grateful for but how often we don't stop and say, Thank You Lord.
Since those two days, I have found myself crying over the most simplest of blessings. I remember one morning, in the rush as usual, I found myself crying when I put Ethan's shoes on because I now know a mother who won't have the simple pleasure of putting her little 3 year old's shoes on again. Another morning, I cried when I dropped Ellie off at her first grade classroom door because 20 mothers no longer have the opportunity to do that anymore.
The days that have followed have been difficult. There is no way to make sense of situations where innocent children die at the hands of sinful, selfish men, but the one thing I know for sure is that God understands. He too lost an innocent child to a sinful, selfish people and because of that we can have hope. And for that hope I am MOST THANKFUL.
