Thankful Candle

Every year at Christmas when I was growing up we had a "Thankful Candle" it was basically just a taper candle that my mom would take fingernail polish and put lines on for each day of December up until the 24th, we would light it each day and we would go around and say something we were thankful for while it burned down to the next line.

Brandon and I have continued the tradition with our family and now (thankfully) you can buy them. The rules are for the 24 day period you have to say one thing you're thankful for and you can have no repeats (harder than you think when you have a 3 year old that wants to say apple juice every SINGLE day).

It's always interesting to see what each person is going to say, but this year took a turn. On December 13th a family that I'm close to lost a child that was only 6 weeks older than Ethan, then on the 14th the Sandy Hook tragedy occurred in a classroom full of first graders, the same grade as Ellie. On the 14th you start to see a change in the things Brandon and I were thankful for. Of course we had named our children earlier in the month but as you go down the list you start to see things like: Life, Grace for each day, Friends that we hurt so deeply for and with, Health, Love, Our Marriage. All of these are things that we're grateful for but how often we don't stop and say, Thank You Lord.

Since those two days, I have found myself crying over the most simplest of blessings. I remember one morning, in the rush as usual, I found myself crying when I put Ethan's shoes on because I now know a mother who won't have the simple pleasure of putting her little 3 year old's shoes on again. Another morning, I cried when I dropped Ellie off at her first grade classroom door because 20 mothers no longer have the opportunity to do that anymore.

The days that have followed have been difficult. There is no way to make sense of situations where innocent children die at the hands of sinful, selfish men, but the one thing I know for sure is that God understands. He too lost an innocent child to a sinful, selfish people and because of that we can have hope. And for that hope I am MOST THANKFUL.

Searching or Living

On August 29th my grandfather, Clyde Wyatt, died just before his 92nd birthday. You might remember I wrote about him here. He was an amazing man and had a tremendous impact on my life. His obituary was well written and talked about how much he loved living. I thought a lot about his life and compared it to how people live today. It seems to me that many people, at least the one's in some of my circles, are searching. Searching for something deeper, something to make them happier, a meaningful relationship, the right church, the right job, etc. And I began to wonder as I looked over his life if maybe we're spending so much time searching that we're no longer living. 

Papaw was secure in his relationships, most importantly with his relationship with Jesus. He didn't have all the answers, but he was secure. He only had an 8th grade education but understood exactly what Christ had done for him. Sometimes I wonder if we get so caught up in wanting to understand everything that we miss the importance of understanding just exactly what He did do for us. 

Papaw was productive. In the prime of his life he held a full-time job at Sayles bleachery while also maintaining a family farm. It occurred to me that maybe we aren't as productive as we should be. Maybe we have too much time to be searching because we don't spend a lot of time doing. He was always quick to help his family and neighbors, while today many of us do not even know who ours neighbors are.

Papaw knew that time was important. Even though he was blessed with what any of us would consider a good  long life, he knew that it could not last forever, so he took time to invest in those around him. He taught all of us lessons, if we were willing to listen. He knew that whoever was right in front of him was who he had to opportunity to help, he didn't search it out he just knew it.

Papaw knew that his church was his true family. Papaw understood that nothing happens by chance, even the community that you live in. He loved his church, worked hard for his church and was no closer to any of his children or grandchildren than he was to the men in his Sunday School class. He was not an educated man but worked and studied very hard to contribute to his church. He didn't leave the first time his feelings were hurt or he needed something "deeper". He worked hard to be the change the church needed to be at the same time trying very hard not to hurt feelings or be easily offended.

When I look back on Papaw's life I will forever be grateful that he showed me what true living is. He was clearly a person the bible describes as "salt of the earth" for anyone that came in contact with him left more "flavorful" than when they came. The most beautiful thing about Papaw's life was that the living never stopped. Because he knew Christ as his Savior he just went right on living. Only now there's no health scares, no trouble breathing, no leukemia and he gets to TRULY LIVE in the presence of Jesus! I know he'll  like that because as he said just before he died, he "really liked living."

Because The Lord Holds My Hand

I recently messed up, BIG TIME. And as always when that happens the devil likes to make us think we're not worthy of anything. The very day that this happened, Ellie started asking me questions about salvation, and the first thing that came to my mind was "Don't ask me, I messed up huge today I am in no way the person you need to talk to about matters like this." So I was honest, I told her I had messed up big and that she would too but that the Lord knew that we would, and he died for us anyway. It was an eye opening moment for me. I did mess up, He's not proud of it, but he still loves me. I know there will be consequences for a long time, there always are in matters like this, and they're deserved. But I take comfort in this...

Psalm 37:23-24

 ²³ A man’s steps are established by the LORD, and He takes pleasure in his way. ²⁴ Though he falls, he will not be overwhelmed, because the LORD holds his hand.

Heart of Stone

I don’t cry easily, I’ve even been told I have a heart of stone. It was said jokingly but the truth is I don’t cry easily. When I get hurt or mad I talk, usually to my demise. J Lately it seems like it’s just been one thing after another, just crazy things, things that shouldn’t bother me but do. I can usually tell when I’ve said too much because my friends or husband let me know, in nice caring ways of course, that they’re sick of hearing me, and they should be, because instead of talking to them I should be talking to the One who can do something about it. The Bible says in 1 Peter to “cast your cares on Him because he cares about you.” That’s my prayer for my life right now that I turn my cares into prayers because God really does care about me, he understands me and why these things hurt me the way they do. I don’t know why but He does and I know he will use it for His glory if I get out of the way, because He can use me, even if I do have a Heart of Stone. J

Four Sisters

June, Kate, Joyce and Joann, those are the four sisters. The oldest, June, is my grandmother and for my entire life I have watched the unusual dynamics of these four sisters. The closeness of these four sisters surpasses my understanding, especially considering no two of them lived in the same county for the at least the last 40 years.

Almost three years ago the youngest, Joann was diagnosed with leukemia. In true fashion, Aunt Jenny (as she was known to most of us) fought with grace through three rounds of chemo, each one keeping the cancer at bay about half as long as the previous one. No one was surprised at how she kept her sense of humor and her compassion for those around her during the awful treatments. She loved the Lord and knew, that no matter the circumstances, he would guide her.

Aunt Jenny's life had not always been easy but she used her circumstances to help others. She had a compassion that can only come from the hard things of life. She had lost her first husband early in her marriage and at a young age. I remember her ministering to me when I suffered a miscarriage because she too had suffered one and knew the pain that comes with that. I'll always remember her understanding and care in that time of my life, she never forgot that baby and how much she loved it and wanted it, and it made it okay for me to grieve my loss.

Her pride was her family. She loved her husband, daughter and granddaughter in ways that one only can, after suffering great loss, and she was crazy over her sisters. But she also loved the rest of us. She was my great-aunt, but made sure to be involved in my life. The last time I saw her she hugged me, told me she loved me, and then she told me how proud she was of my family.

When the third and final diagnosis came, the sisters rallied, they all came back "home" one more time, Joyce even came from Phoenix! The doctor's had said the time would be swift and they were determined to make the most of it. They spent one week just enjoying each other's company, sharing and loving on each other. When one seemed weak the other would be there, it was a picture I'll not soon forget.

The doctor's were right, the time was short and Aunt Jenny died shortly after that week. My grandmother came to see me after all of the services and she had taken a few days to recover. She said, "I know Joann is better off, but for me...." and she couldn't finish because the pain was just too great. Aunt Jenny was 75 when she died and between the four sisters they had experienced almost everything imaginable together.

But the greatest thing they will ever experience together is heaven, because all four of them had accepted Jesus as their Savior. One day no time, distance or sickness will ever be able to separate them and they will be able to spend eternity together with the One who designed it just that way. That's the most important thing the Four Sisters taught me and I'm so thankful.

 Aunt Jenny with my Grandmama June and Papaw Wyatt

 Aunt Jenny and Aunt Kate

Aunt Jenny and Aunt Joyce

A Week Since Haiti

It has been one week since I've been back from Haiti and I'm just now to the point that I feel like I can put something into words. When Kim Metcalf suggested the trip I felt very strongly that I should go. I felt so strongly that I went home that same day and bought plane tickets without even having a passport. Thankfully that worked out too!

Our trip was amazing! The team I went with were primarily nurses and since I am not a nurse I started praying right from the start that the Lord would just use me. I was willing to do anything, I just wanted to be used. And I'm thankful to say that He found just the job for me: Keeping a straight line. Yes that's right that was my job, to tell people where to stand. For those of you that know me, telling people what to do is not really hard for me, but keep in mind I had to do this in a language I know NOTHING about. Thankfully I found that I can also be animated if necessary and it worked out wonderfully, except for the one time I pointed to the ground to show a man where I wanted him to stand and he bent over trying to see what I was showing him on the ground, now that's funny in any language!

The first clinic was at a place for handicapped people. The people in this place are outcasts in Haiti, but the man that runs this place is handicapped himself. About 30 people live in the place and he also helps around 300 people in the community.

This child more than likely had cerebral palsy but his mother has no idea, she wrote down that he couldn't sit, stand or talk.



This man peddled himself around with his hands.



All we could do to help this man was give him some Tylenol and Advil but it's more than he had



This little girl crawls on her hands and knees most of the time and wanted some knee pads to help. Some of the supplies were taken to create something to help her

This lady lost part of her foot in the earthquake and came in with a boot that was worn out. Charlie one of our interpreters cut part of a new boot off and it was just what she needed.

On the way home from clinic we stopped at "The Basket Lady's" house. She sells beautiful baskets made from banana tree leaves. She charges hardly anything for them but with makes enough to send her four daughters to school. The largest basket she has she only charges $12, in America that same basket would be over $100.



The next day was Sunday and we were able to worship in the church in Saintard. It was a beautiful service and I was amazed at how even though we couldn't understand a word they were saying you could feel the Holy Spirit so clearly. Part of the church participated in communion and you had to be carrying a blue card to participate because there was not enough for everyone.

Here is a picture of the pastor and his wife

After church we went over to visit the orphanage that is on the same ground as the mission house, where we stay. Miss Phyllis runs the mission house, the orphanage and oversees the hospital that is all at the same place.

These little boys are twins, Charlie and Jake and are the same age as Ethan, one of them is still not able to walk. Their father died in the Cholera epidemic and their mother had several other children. Miss Phyllis said the place they lived before coming to the oprhanage was so steep you literally had to crawl to get to it.

Here are some of the girls from the girls dorm.

Here's Miss Phyllis with one of the twins. She visited Haiti in the 70's with one of her friends from Bible College. She felt the Lord leading her to move there and his lived there over 30 years.

That afternoon we went to City Blue to hand out food. These people were moved into little huts built by Samaritan's Purse after the earthquake and have been there ever since. The children would swarm you and you couldn't hardly move, especially if they thought you had candy.

This was some people bathing outside the village. The water they're bathing in will go on down the line and someone else will use it to cook with.

Here's what the huts look like.

Some of the children

The last day we were there we also did another medical clinic in a place called Lily. This was the saddest place, for me, that we visited. Many, many teenage girls with babies, many pregnant again. Miss Phyllis said the girls wanted children because then they had something that was truly theirs. I can truly say it was a life changing experience for me. We had Haitian men that went with us everywhere we went to keep us safe and at this place they earned their money. I never felt unsafe but occasionally you could hear the crowd get loud just wanting to get in and see the nurses. We treated lots of people with worms, "Grip" which is a reoccuring cough and just simple things that Tylenol will help but is not available to these people.



Here's Kim listening to a patient

Here you can kind of see how the crowd starts getting closer and closer. They get really nervous if they think you're running out of medicines or they're running out of time.

This is the "Pharmacy" where my job was to maintain my "line"

This lady had cataracts and wanted to try a new pair of glasses.

This lady's child had a thorn in it's eye that had been there a month. Miss Phyllis was very upset at the mother because there was a free clinic in the area the mother didn't take the baby to. Miss Phyllis said sometimes the mother's get tired of the children and intentionally try to hurt them.

After this clinic we handed out more food bags and went to see the Caribbean. It was amazing to see.

Yes the water really is this clear!



Here is our group

This trip has changed my life forever. I was blown away by how 700 people put on their "best" clothes, walked to church at 7 a.m. in 90 degree weather and happily worshipped the only One who can ever give these people any hope. I was amazed at how a bunch of people from North Carolina, South Carolina and Tennessee came together in one accord to do whatever needed to be done from moment to moment. And most of all I'm thankful, thankful for the opportunity, thankful for my wonderful husband who carried my load while I was gone, thankful to my church who gave so that I could go, and thankful for Jesus who came into my life when I was 8 years old and changed me so that I can take the gospel wherever I go.

I will NEVER be the same after this trip.

A Whirlwind Weekend.....literally!

This past Friday night we camped out on Big Pine where Brandon grew up. We had been planning this trip for a couple of months and everyone was excited, including us. Ethan and I had been battling a cold all week but we were optimistic that everything would be fine. The wind had been blowing REALLY hard all day but was supposed to die down, so off we went.

We had a wonderful time cooking out, making smores and just visiting around the campfire. Ethan clearly was not 100% but he was having a good time and I was pushing the cold medicine. Around 9:30 he fell asleep on his Papaw Ronnie and went to bed in the tent, Ellie and I followed shortly after and Brandon sat up to visit and came to bed later.

Sometime shortly after, the wind hit us with a vengeance. Our tent was blowing so hard that at times it felt like we were going to take flight. You could hear it coming across the mountain and we would all hunker down and wait for it to hit. The kids were up changing beds every few minutes. (Maybe a little too much Wizard of Oz?) Brandon's aunt stayed in the tent with us and ended up sleeping with all of us before the night was over. Brandon's brother's tent fell partially over at one point but it was so late and windy they opted just to leave it. Here's what it looked like the next morning:

The next day was beautiful and we enjoyed a yummy hot breakfast around the campfire.

Brandon's Aunt's Connie and  Kaye brought pumpkins for the kids to decorate which Ellie in particular really enjoyed. You'll notice Ethan is not in any of these pictures, by this time he was already at his Mamaw's sleeping off his wind induced hangover.

Then we went to Brandon's Mamaw's for a DELICIOUS lunch. By this point Ethan was feeling pretty bad and it was time to take him home. (Ellie was so disappointed to miss the ride to the top of the mountain on the back of Papaw's truck.)

It's so neat to see the influence each of these people have had on Brandon's life. I'm so thankful for all of them and their HUGE hearts to make this weekend so much fun. What a wonderful, whirlwind weekend!